Today my list continues.

Today I praise with purpose.

Today I am grateful to God for…

225. lollipops

226. baby kisses

227. books poured out in me replacing wrong thinking with truth

228. breakfast for dinner

229. Cotton Candy

230. when something breaks and my husband knows just how to fix it

231. epic films that make history come alive and improve my perspective of the past

232. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

233. His willingness to perform miracles

234. courage

235. late sunsets

236. sleeping in

237. the smell of fresh brewed coffee… anytime… anywhere

238. deep blue Morning Glories

239. song

240. gentleness

241. grace

242. forgiveness

243. a sure, infallible, inerrant, inspired, beautiful, glorious, line of truth

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I simply ran across these brilliant ice cream cones at Walmart this week and HAD TO SHARE them with YOU!

They are like regular good ol’ drumsticks but with this special little touch just for kids!

Magical Marshmallows! You know like the ones from that cereal that is “Magcially Delicious!”

And come on…

We all know that the only thing magical or delicious about that cereal is the marshmallows!

These ice cream cones are brilliant for two reasons…

1. Now we can all stop throwing away entire boxes of cereal once our kids have picked out what they are really after… the marshmallows.

2. We can all stop pretending we agree that marshmallows are part of this morning’s complete breakfast.

If you have kids like me, you are already standing up to cheer and say, “Yes! Brilliant! It’s about time someone found something else to do with those awesome Marshmallows my kids love besides stick them in that icky cereal my kids don’t love!”

My kids beg me for THAT cereal all the time and without fail, every time I buy it, all they really want to do is pick out the marshmallows and ditch the tasteless, wheaty, cereal pieces.

So now the Magical Marshmallows have found their rightful place, not in breakfast… but in a treat… an ice cream treat!

I’m lovin’ this!

And P.S. my kids LOVE THEM TOO!

They went crazy when I brought home the box, and all three of them gave me a big thumbs up yesterday afternoon when they ate them.

Have you read these other posts yet?

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She’s barely four years old

Her hair curls all on it’s own

She loves pink

She loves shoes

She gardens

She swings

She’s artistic

She’s confident

She jokes

She dances

She argues

She sings

She keeps me on my toes

She has a major sweet tooth

She loves swimming in the summer

She doesn’t care for baby dolls

She mothers her stuffed animal puppies

And before we put her to bed at night, when we gather as a family to take turns praying…

sometimes…

it goes like this…

Me: “Okay Remy, it’s your turn to pray.”

Remy: “I’m not going to pray tonight. I’m just going to talk to God.”

Me: “Okay.”

Remy: “God, I just want to tell you that I really love You and when we die and You take us up to Heaven I want You to have bathing suits for us so we can swim.

And God I pray that on that day we come to Heaven that You would come and live with us and that we would have plenty of food.

And if we don’t died, but You blow your trumpet we could still go to Heaven if You come to get us.

And I really pray that You have lots of stuffed animals for us to snuggle with because we really love that, and maybe You could just tell us that we can stay up because that would be our favorite.”

Trying to conceal my smile I open one eye peeking at her and wondering if she’s finished I ask, “Amen?”

“No!” she replies. “I already told you… I’m not praying tonight. I was only talking to God.”

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This week I am purposing to notice, and thank the Lord, for miracles amongst the everyday humdrum of daily routines…

Friday…

160. Morning salutations from excited small children

161. Children’s dreams

162. Baby snuggles

163. Kind comments

164. Small accomplishments

165. the ability at any given moment to fondly reminisce

166. Foreign accents

167. Blended coffee

168. Whipped Cream

169. Freshly vacuumed carpet

170. The cleverness of eight year olds

171. Meaningful conversations

172. Babies learning to sing

173. Recipes passed along from one to another

174. Dinner ready early

175. Bedtime stories with children on laps

176. Children gathered around Daddy watching him draw pictures

177. Captivating illustrations

178. Wonder and whimsy

179. the limitless possibilities of fertile imaginations

180. Rhymes

181. Dr. Seuss

182. Little girls with curls in their hair

183. Toothbrushes and toothpaste

184. Friday nights

185. Weekends

186. Learning to be grateful

187. New perspectives

188. the ability to imagine the future and smile

*You can view where this week of gratitude posts began on Sunday’s post.  Come back tomorrow as purposed gratitude continues.

(Part of the Gratitude Community)

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This week I am purposing to notice, and thank the Lord, for miracles amongst the everyday humdrum of daily routines…

Thursday…

145. Warm lovely California days between the rain of Spring and before the harsh heat of Summer

146. The joy that comes from splashing around in water

147. Friendships that span decades

148. The sweet smell, sound, look, and presence of a newborn

149. Cold sweet soft serve Vanilla ice cream cones

150. Hide and seek

151. Children begging for a Geography lesson, anxious to learn more about the World and all it holds

152. Siblings giggling together

153. Seeing a sister comfort a brother

154. Seeing a brother help a sister

155. Dinners with Nana and Papa

156. the smell and feel of warm clean laundry right out of the dryer

157. God’s word at my fingertips anytime I choose

158. Answered prayers

159. Isaiah 55

*You can view where this week of gratitude posts began on Sunday’s post.  Come back tomorrow as purposed gratitude continues.

(Part of the Gratitude Community)

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This week I am purposing to notice, and thank the Lord, for miracles amongst the everyday humdrum of daily routines

Monday…

66. waking up to dark clouds in the sky

67. God’s design for weather to change, bringing newness to days and seasons

68. unexpected raindrops

69. spontaneous decisions to wander away from everyday routines and do something different

70. the excitement of surprised children

71. when the sun comes out and warms up days with plans to be outside

72. amazing creatures to wonder at on land and down in the depths of the sea, each so amazing, so intricate, with it’s very own features and stories to tell of behaviors, lifestyle, and purposes… AMAZING!

73. octopuses, seahorses, jellyfish, and starfish

74. that life isn’t just existing, but additionally includes laughter, fun, excitement, wonder, mystery, joy, love, touch, sight, sound, taste, thrill, questions, answers, knowledge, wisdom, and so much more

75. unexpected gratitude verbally expressed by a four year old, for the things we do for her and give to her, in hopes of blessing her

76. cameras that capture fleeting moments so they can be relived and enjoyed for years to come

77. sleeping babies in car-seats

78. my husband’s sweet hand on mine as he drives the family home

79. warm running water for baths and showers at the end of long tiresome days

80. the comforts of home, soft sofas, cold drinks of water, pajamas

81. my son’s heart for the people of Haiti unfailingly expressed every night in his prayers

82. memories made as a family and stories to talk about for decades

*You can view where this week of gratitude posts began on Sunday’s post.  Come back tomorrow as purposed gratitude continues.

(Linked to Miscellany Monday /Part of the Gratitude Community)

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As days blend into days, and weeks blend into months, of laundry basket after laundry basket of clean clothes to be hung… breakfast, lunch, dinner, repeat… wipe, scrub, sweep, fold… rise, hurry, work, slow, sleep…

I know there are beautiful quiet miracles happening all around me that I don’t take time to appreciate, and soak in like I could.

So this week, amidst the usual, the normal, the predictable, join me here, taking time to notice and rejoice in the Lord, for the splendid authentic details that make each day miraculously, it’s own precious day.

Sunday…

50. morning worship with little hearts and voices praising the Lord in song

51. questions and remarks from tiny minds wondering about the mysteries of God

52. the kiss that happens while passing my husband in the hall, our feet still moving in opposite directions as we each have somewhere else to be, but briefly our lips and hearts connect in love, leading to excitement, and lingering still in passion as our lips let go

53. the glance that follows the kiss as we move on in opposite directions to little ones we’re helping in other rooms, dishes to be rinsed, trash cans to be emptied, lunches to be made… but a glance and a smile as we go, our hearts still connected, our passion still ignited, the affect of the kiss still tingling our senses, and knowing later, eventually, there will be some time alone

54. the hush of a house when little ones go down for naps

55. the peaceful, quiet, restful tone of Sunday afternoons spent at home with nowhere I need to be, and nothing I need to do

56. time to just think, reflect, and listen

57. the breezes that I hear outside my screen door that remind me there is fresh wondrous life just outside

58. the glorious Artist, in Who’s image I was made, who so creatively fashioned everything… the stars, the butterflies, the Earth, the quiet, the trees, and the breezes

59. the sound of little voices waking up from naps

60. little tousled hair and sleepy eyes on the outside of joyful little souls refreshed by midday sleep

61. always having little companions to run errands with

62. my children gathering together on their own to wonder at something, little tummies on carpet, feet in the air bobbing up and down, hands supporting chins, and all eyes gazing at something new and interesting

63. the wild sounds from down the hall as children try to conquer daddy on our bed and hope to make it last as long as they can before being called to evening prayers and bedtime

64. when I pick up the very busy baby, always running and on the go, never still, never quiet, never calm, and yet… for one brief moment of his own free will he spreads his arms wide and wraps five little fingers around each shoulder of mine and lays his little head in the cradle of my neck, letting out a little baby sigh

65. the invigorating recharge that comes from a husband and child’s love which inspires me with joy to live, love, and work another day

*Join me each evening this week for a new daily post, on everyday miracles to be grateful for

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I’ve never used Saxon Math which seems to be the home school standard and even more specifically the Classical home school standard. But one of the things that I’ve heard about it, is that it gives tons and tons of problems to solve on each concept.  Based on that information alone I knew Saxon was not a curriculum I would be passionate about using.

One of the things I like about home schooling my children as opposed to sending them to a public or private school is being able to cater their educations to their specific gifts, talents, interests, passions, and callings.  I’m a firm believer that everyone is made to serve different purposes with their lives and should therefore not be made to read the same books or learn things in the same way.

Another thing I like about educating my children at home is being able to spare them from wasting precious hours in the day doing busy work.  I hated it during my own schooling years when teachers would assign 100 math problems on one concept.  Once I got the concept down by problem 34 the rest of the assignment was busy work.  This type of thing occurred in my learning throughout all subjects.  The worst part was when I had several different teachers assigning busywork in each of their classes, none of them of course speaking to each other or taking in consideration how much work each of them had assigned.  Then I would be stuck with hours upon hours of homework on concepts I already understood.

What a waste of time.

Now don’t get me wrong… there is certainly a point to learning a concept and practicing it until you can do it with ease.  The problem is that for each child and in each subject the amount of work needed to be done in order to arrive at that place of ease is different.

I am only home schooling one of my three children at this point.  Remy and Llany are not yet school age and are still working on pre school core concepts like numbers, phonics, shapes, and colors.  Leo however, my oldest and therefore my home school guinea pig, is just finishing up the third grade. His advanced learning abilities are what caused me to begin home schooling in the first place.  You can read more about that here.

When I set out to begin home schooling I didn’t want to just be doing school, at home.  I wanted to take advantage of being able to handpick curriculum and teach each subject the best way possible.  I didn’t want to just get a box of assigned curriculum and start plowing through it.  I wanted to know what was out there and make a decision about what sounded best for my son’s abilities and my teaching style.  One of the books that was instrumental in helping me do this was “The Well Trained Mind” by Susan Wise Bauer.  This book breaks down some of the different curriculum philosophies and explains their strengths and focuses.  When looking through the math section of this book, Singapore Math was the curriculum that appealed to me the most for three reasons.

1. I’ve always heard that Asian countries have a reputation for high achievement in math amongst students, far higher than the abilities of American students, so a curriculum from Singapore sounded like a better idea than an American curriculum.
2. The focus in Singapore Math is on Mental Math and that is something I wish I had been taught how to do better… I’m still tempted to count on my fingers.
3. Singapore Math does not require incessant amounts of problems to work through in each chapter.  This is perfect for an advanced learner like Leo who picks up new concepts with great ease and grows bored quickly if not challenged with moving forward. There are however additional “Extra Practice” books available at each grade level for when extra practice on a particular concept is needed.

I figured if the curriculum seemed to move too fast or leave out fundamental elements, we would go back to something like Saxon or Math U See. I’m glad to report however that we haven’t needed to change our Math curriculum at all over the past three years, and we will continue with Singapore Math again next year for fourth grade because we love it!

Leo continues to score WAY above grade level in Mathematics. Last year his National Percentile Rank (NPR) for the California State STAR testing in Math was in the 98th percentile.

Now again I will state: the same books and approaches to learning are not equally effective for every student, nor are they equally friendly for every parent or teacher’s, teaching style. I have overheard parent conversations ranting and raving about how much they hate Singapore Math, so I know it doesn’t work for everyone.

But… it works for Leo and me, and here’s why:

An Emphasis on Mental Math

I used manipulatives in pre school with Leo while we were learning to count, add, and subtract. I didn’t order some fancy color coded set of manipulatives and curriculum for this. We simply counted fish crackers, legos, cookies, jelly beans, and whatever else we were playing with or eating. Once we started with Singapore Math we didn’t use manipulatives at all anymore, but instead moved easily into the intermediary pictorial stage.

In Singapore Math at the elementary level, there isn’t a big emphasis on using  manipulatives.  Being someone who still depended on her fingers for counting well into adulthood, I liked the idea of being able to find a math program that would force my son, from the beginning, to see numbers in his head and be able to do tricks with them in order to solve problems without the crutch of manipulatives.

Illustrations with a Purpose

Singapore math books don’t look like the typical math texts we grew up with. They are filled with cartoon type color illustrations that I love. I don’t know about you, but just opening up a Saxon text book with a white page filled from top to bottom with as many little black numbers as will fit on the page, makes me woozy. I can’t imagine how it must make a six year old feel!

When I ordered our first Singapore Math book for Kindergarten with Leo when he was four, he picked up the books himself and asked if we could get started because to him they looked like a lot of fun. But Singapore Math’s illustrations are not purely for entertainment, there is a very logical and helpful purpose behind them.

One of the problems with other math curriculums in the U.S. is that they leap from using concrete objects or manipulatives in the early stages, right into abstract mental math calculations. Many students struggle with this leap as I did, and therefore continue to secretly count on fingers or calculate with physical tapping, in order to keep up, never developing true mental math abilities.

Singapore math textbooks include an intermediary pictorial stage. By looking at pictures of concrete objects being divided equally, students form a mental image of what adding, subtracting, multiplication, division, and other mathematical processes look like. When they finally get to abstract calculation, they have already internalized and visualized the process.

Additionally, the illustrations are so helpful that this year at age 8, while in the 3^rd grade, my son was able to teach himself several of the lessons without any parent involvement at all, and that is a BIG PART of my goal in choosing to home school – to teach my children, how to teach themselves… for LIFE!

Also as a home school parent, while being supplied with such great illustrative examples of each math concept, I have never needed to do any prep work in order to take my son through a Singapore math lesson (except for gathering some measuring supplies when learning about length, weight, and volume.)  And that fits my teaching style to a “T.” Very little prep… lot’s of hands on learning, questioning, and finding answers together. The Singapore Math lessons are easy to just sit down and go through together at any time. (And… they’ve really helped me to improve in my own mental math abilities.)

Introducing Mathematical Concepts Early

At the first grade level Singapore Math introduces addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, algebra, fractions, time, length, geometry, and on and on the list goes. Instead of waiting to introduce mathematical concepts at later stages, Singapore Math introduces nearly all basic concepts in the same year, and then each year of study advances the child’s understanding and ability in each area.

As a home school teacher I can’t comprehend how you teach addition but put off teaching multiplication for later years when all it is, is a way of adding groups quickly. Or why you would teach division but keep fractions a secret until fourth grade. Or talk about shapes and their names at age four, but wait to talk about the different names of triangles until middle school. Or how you teach any of if without introducing the algebraic concept of solving for “x” which is what we are all doing every day when we use math in real life. All of these ideas can be taught to a first grade student when done with simplicity of small numbers and done in the context of real world problem solving.

Word Problems

Isn’t the real reason we learn math for problems like, “If I’ve made 24 cupcakes in the last hour, but I need to make 700 cupcakes for the school play by tomorrow morning at 11am, and Johnny only gave me this AWESOME news ten minutes ago and it’s 8pm, how many hours and how many ovens will it take me to make the rest of my cupcakes and will I get any sleep tonight?” So why do other curriculums make this kind of math question a side-note instead of a central theme?

Singapore Math puts a huge emphasis on what we call “Word Problems,” and it doesn’t push off learning word problems to the end of lessons or for higher grade levels. In Singapore Math, word problems are part of the core curriculum in every chapter of every year of math study… and there is an extremely GOOD reason for this! What we should really call “Word Problems” is “Life Problems.” And aren’t “Life Problems” a huge practical reason for learning math in the first place?

Each grade level of curriculum not only includes word problems in the chapters, but also an additional optional “Word Problems” book made up entirely of just that… Word Problems. Also included at each grade level is an optional Extra Practice Book to reinforce math processes, and a Test Book that can be used for extra practice or quizzing students. With all of these extra optional resources that can be used, you can’t say Singapore Math doesn’t offer PLENTY of individual problems in order to master concepts. But…the fact that these problems come in separate books allows them to more freely be optional for the students that need them.

Extra practice books can be

1) Used with chapters that need more attention in a challenging area of study and

2) Completely ignored with chapters where concepts were easily mastered in the main text

Conclusion

Cracking open a Singapore Math book is something both my son and I look forward to and we have a great time going through the lessons together.

One of the greatest things about teaching home school is the fact that you get to choose what works best for you and your family so I’m not plugging Singapore Math as the “Be-all, end all” of math curriculums. It’s simply the one that works for us, and if you are looking into teaching Home School or are already home schooling, but haven’t yet found a Math curriculum you and your children love, consider giving Singapore Math a try!

To learn more about Singapore Math and to read a fantastic Blog post written by an American public school Math Teacher who has adopted Singapore Math, and see a YouTube video about other public schools adopting the curriculum, click here.

Also, visit the Singapore Math curriculum website where we order our materials.

And if you’ve used Singapore Math, whether you’ve loved it or hated it, tell us about it in the comments, and tell us “Why?” More input from more sources is welcomed and appreciated here!

Be sure to check out MY post about the importance of overcoming your own personal Math hangups and shortcoming, in order to better encourage your children to succeed in all areas of academics and in life – How Is Your Child’s World Being Framed?

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My Story

I’ve always been a very creative person, interested in art, music, and writing. I was told often that I was good at those things by my peers and my mother, and their praise of my accomplishments in those areas spurred me on to become better and better at them.

Adversely in my adolescence I was also told:

I’m not a math person

I’m not a science person

I’m not a good speller

I’m not a reader

I would always struggle in school

And for what? I thought.

So  I can get into a good college?  What in the world am I supposed to do in college, if I’m barely making it through high school?  What kind of serious degree or career can I pursue if all I am good at is painting and writing poetry? Forget it!

And in many ways I did.

I became consumed with my social life and did only enough school work to stay afloat. When it came time to graduate and choose a college major to pursue, I didn’t feel confident enough in any academic subject, to be able to approach it at a college level.

Now I know, for those of us who have never been professionally diagnosed with a mental disability or genetic learning disorder, our DNA does not prohibit us from being good at Math, Spelling, Grammar, Science, History, or Language Arts. For most of us, our strengths and weaknesses in academics have much more to do with our INTERESTS and our INSPIRATIONS rather than a left or right brain dominance. We pursue what we learn to love, and neglect what we don’t. And naturally we love what we’re good at, and what we become good at, tends to be what we’ve been ENCOURAGED in.

So what are you encouraging your kids in? I hope the answer is, “EVERYTHING.”

But, for many of us who were raised in “boxes” and are used to hearing others frame people into categories of “Math people”, “Artistic people”, “Bookish people” and “Athletic people”, we might not notice at first how we are now hastily and verbally, shoving our own children into a false framework.

What’s Your Story?

Were you ever told that you weren’t any good at an academic subject? What kinds of things were you made to believe about your inabilities, in your adolescence? What things do you tell everyone…

-          You’ve never been good at

-          You just aren’t cut out for

-          You aren’t able to do because you are a right brain or left brain dominant person

Have you ever stopped to consider, that maybe you never had a real opportunity to truly see what you were made of in the areas of study you struggled with, because you believed from nearly the start, you were BAD at them?

Is there any possibility, that given an inspiring mentor or a well written book, and some time and determination, that you might actually be capable of becoming good at the very things you’ve spent your entire life believing are impossible subjects for you?

Is it math?

Is it punctuation?

Is it drawing?

Is it spelling?

Is it reading?

Left Brain or Right Brain?

How many of us were taught to assess which side of our brain is dominant and allow that to tell us our future; what we were made for and what we should pursue?

As a pre-teen, I was told I wasn’t a math person. So, when math became difficult and no longer any fun, I had no motivation to work through it.  I assumed that the side of a person’s brain which makes them strong in math was not the strong side of my brain.  I believed that lie my whole adolescence and was empowered by teachers and mentors to use it as a valid excuse for my struggles. In High School I finally just gave up on math altogether.

Now as an adult, I have realized that was just something people told me and it might not be true. Once I had that breakthrough in my thinking I opened myself back up to math and I’ve learned I can be good at it, and my new attitude towards it has allowed me to develop a real interest in it.

This article is supposed to be about our children and how their thinking is being shaped, but in order to positively frame their self-image, we will first need to consider our own.

It took an epiphany for me to stop assuming since I was a creative person, I could not be a successful math or science person. We must each face the lies we’ve been believing for decades about ourselves and our abilities to learn, and in doing so, change the statements we make in front of our children.

If we say it about ourselves, our children will learn they can say it about themselves and get away with giving up, like we did.

Preparing Them to Be Able to Do Anything THEY Want

In a home where a parent is artistic, where drawing and painting are daily demonstrated, and artistic resources are always available, a young child is likely to be interested in art. They will more easily pick up artistic abilities and be encouraged in such endeavors.  And most importantly they will be INSPIRED to take part in art by a parent who loves it and lives it passionately in front of them.

In a home where a child has a mathematically confident parent and never hears the phrase, “I’m not a math person,” a child may be able to flourish in math because they never learn to associate the subject with fear and impossibility. A child like this will have a huge advantage down the road when math really does become difficult, in that they won’t be afraid of the subject, or have any belief that they won’t be able to eventually tackle any stage of it, with some effort.

But, if a child hears over and over from their parents and mentors that they just aren’t a math person, a science person, artistic, or good at spelling, you can bet they probably never will be. It won’t be their DNA that has dictated their weaknesses but rather their beliefs about themselves.

We all truly can be math people, science people, history people, eloquent people, artistic people, and yes even athletic people, if we choose to be. There of course will still be a spectrum along which we fall compared to others. We will be stronger in some areas and weaker in others, but we don’t have to feel genetically incapable of any of it.

It is so important to affirm our children’s capabilities, so that we are not shaping them to cut out certain pursuits by telling them what they weren’t made for. We ought to allow our children to discover their own passions and purposes, rather than dictate what they will become, by telling them from a young age what “ just isn’t their strong suit.”

This is NOT that talk!

Now let’s hold on right here while I make something clear.

This isn’t one of those talks that follows the philosophy of “Everyone gets a trophy no matter how well they play their sport, and everyone gets an A+ no matter how well they did on their assignment.” In those ways children need a barometer to see how the effort they put into their pursuit matches up with the results that they receive. Receiving a poor grade or not getting a trophy in a sport, teaches a child that they need to find new ways to approach their goals in order to receive better results in the future.

This talk is about thinking before we speak and knowing that the more times you tell a kid they are bad, bad, bad at something, the easier it is for them to believe it and give up on it.

And I’m not talking about mean verbally abusive parents. I’m talking about very kind, loving parents. Parents who often may not even realize they are saying these negative things to their children, but who based on how they themselves were educated, truly believe right brain/left brain dominance dictates WHO someone is capable of being and WHAT they are capable of being good at.

Parents and mentors need to be the voices of support encouraging children that they can excel in anything THEY DESIRE. We need not to be the people in their lives who throw our hands up and say, “You’re just not cut out for this. You just weren’t born to do this.”

(Unless of course we’re talking about being in the NBA or the Royal Ballet School… of course in those types of cases very specific genetics are pretty much a requirement!)

The Powerful Words of Mentors

We as parents are not the only ones who can frame a child’s world negatively by what we are telling them about themselves. Even when we correct our own speech, we still have to be concerned with input they are getting elsewhere.

A good mentor is able to creatively and passionately INSPIRE students towards accomplishment. But sometimes the mentors our children end up with, have decidedly chosen their approach to teaching and whoever can’t keep up, is verbally torn down or simply made to feel less smart by inference. Negative experiences like this can not only change the way a child thinks about themselves, it can affect how he or she pursues their own education, forever.

We must be vigilant as parents, to listen to our children and take action when we hear them beginning to repeat negative comments about themselves and their abilities to learn. If an adult in their life, like a coach or teacher has been telling them they aren’t good at something, or just aren’t cut out for something, it will begin to show up in a child’s attitude about themselves.

Our first instinct in this kind of situation can be to go on the defensive and like a mother bear march right in to that coach or teacher and tell them a thing or two about their lame brained teaching skills. But hold on a minute! Instead of getting all huffy and puffy over a situation like this, we can embrace it as part of the shaping of our children’s character.

After all, our kids will face criticism, competition for place, and even insults, throughout their entire lives. Rather than try and make those negative comments go away, we want to instead take notice of them and equip our kids to look ‘em in the eye, and knock them down with truth about their abilities.

As parents we need to stay on top of these kinds of negative influences as best we can, being aware of them, and bringing them up in discussions with our kids. We ought to more often be our children’s cheerleaders rather than their defense, reminding them that they can accomplish what they set their minds too and that they ought to get out there and prove it.

Exactly What TO Say and What NOT to Say

My hope is to encourage parents and mentors not to negatively frame a child’s world by the words of your mouth.  It takes a continual conscious effort to make sure we don’t verbally put our children in a “box” with a label of “not good at…” when we see them struggling in academics.

Instead, we should be affirming our children when they struggle and saying things to them like,

“You can do this, you just need to keep at it.”

“I know you can get into some tough spots with this subject, but just stay with it.”

“Don’t give up. You are very smart and totally capable of getting this.”

“ You will get it… you’ll see.”

“You are great at this.  You’re at a tough part with it, but you’ll get it because you really are great at this.”

These are the types of things we need to be saying to our children over and over again so that when things get tough, those affirmations are what fill their thoughts and push them on towards achievement, rather than cop-outs. We need to avoid saying things to them like,

“You’re just not a math person.”

“Honey science just isn’t one of your strong suits.”

“You’re just a creative person, not an analytical person.”

“You’re just like me, terrible at spelling.”

“You’re just like your father, terrible at punctuation.”

These negative comments allow our children to simply give up. These kinds of phrases tell them, that no matter how much effort they put into improving, they will never be GREAT. How is this motivation to work harder? It’s not. It is however motivation to drop the effort entirely.

One Final Note

I think as parents we are even sometimes tempted to say our children “just aren’t good at something” in order to take some of the heat off of ourselves.  If our child is struggling in a subject, it is much easier to tell the world and that child, that they simply aren’t a math person or a science person than it is to work harder with them on the subject. It is easier to box them up as “bad” at a subject, rather than admit we as parents or teachers might be failing in helping them to better tackle a topic.  After all we are awfully busy and having to realize that one more thing needs more of our attention can be an overwhelming admission.

The good news is that if you really stay on top of the ENCOURAGEMENT and building up of your child’s confidence in their God-given capabilities in ALL subjects, the farther ahead you’ll be in trying to help them conquer the subjects they struggle in. They will already be assured that they can succeed at anything, if they just keep trying.

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As parents, many of us are highly vigilant about the types of movies and television we allow our children to see. The use of foul language I don’t want my children repeating, is the first major deterrent for me, when looking for programming suitable for my family. And to be honest, it’s not only my kids I’m thinking of when searching for entertainment without obscenities. I myself hate sitting down to watch a good movie or TV program and then being accosted for 30 minutes or more by verbal profanity and the misuse of God’s name.

When I was a teen in the 90’s, the word “B_ _ ch” was not heard on TV in any of the programs I watched. I remember how shocking it seemed to start hearing that word at 8 o’clock at night on regular basic cable television shows. I’m not sure teens today even realize that word was ever considered “foul language” due to it’s casual and constant usage in virtually all teen and adult programming and movies. It seems teen shows in particular splash that word around like the networks or producers will score some kind of points, the more times the “B” word is said.

There are so many good movies out there that are made miserable to sit through simply because of the barrage of unnecessary expletives included in them. And, being a Christian, the extra element of hearing God’s name stepped on, spat about, abused, and misused in films and television programs, is enough to get me to change the channel and avoid heading to the theaters to see a movie that, were it not for the language, could have been a great film.

Don’t even get me started on how often and casually God’s name is taken in vain! There’s a texting acronym for it, for crying out loud! I told you… don’t get me started!

But does this mean I’ve abandoned Movies and Television entirely?

No. Not at all. Jesus Himself taught us the power of story telling, and I love seeing human drama played out on screen. I’ve learned, laughed, cried, been amused, forewarned, and inspired by all kinds of movies and Television, and I love sharing those same kinds of experiences with my husband and children.

Thankfully I’ve found TWO fantastic tools that help myself and my family determine when and where to see what types of movies and TV shows.

And stay tuned, because I’m giving one away!

The first tool I love is the TV Guardian. We’ve had one in our home for the past 8 years and we love it. In fact we love what it does so much, that we even gave one to Nana and Papa for their TV.  The TV Guardian is a box that you connect to your television, which filters out profanity and misuses of God’s name, by reading a programs subtitles (not visible onscreen). While silence covers the profanity, a subtitle with a replacement sentence is briefly shown on screen so you still know what’s being said, but in a less offensive way.

TV Guardian is now taking orders for their brand new model, being released this June.  A great feature to the new model is that it comes with a remote you can use to:

- switch between three different levels of profanity blocking – Strict, Moderate, and Tolerant

- turn ON and OFF the religious filter – When it’s set to ON, TVG will filter out the offensive ways Hollywood tends to use Jesus and God. When turned OFF religious programming can be viewed without the use of Jesus and God being filtered out.

- the Hell/Damn filter may be turned ON and OFF – also useful when watching religious programming

- Sexual references may be turned ON and OFF

(At the bottom of this post I’ll be giving specifics about how you can enter here to win a brand new TV Guardian (value $120) simply by leaving a specific comment .)

The other tool that helps our family immensely in making decisions about what we will go to see in the theater, what we will wait to watch at home with the use of our TV Guardian, and what isn’t worth watching at all because of other content issues, is the website, PluggedIn.com.

Plugged In is a ministry created by Focus on the Family, a ministry founded by Dr. James Dobson, author of the books “Bringing Up Boys” and “Dare to Discipline.” The focus of the Plugged In ministry is to “Shine a light on the world of entertainment” particularly for the purpose of  helping parents understand the entertainment vying for their children’s attention every minute of every day. They offer reviews of popular music, video games, movies, and television shows, and we NEVER go to the theater without first checking it’s review on Pluggedin.com. NEVER!!!

Plugged In breaks down the content of movies for parents, so we can make our own decisions about what films are right for our family. Their reviews do include some personal opinion like a typical movie critic would do, but more importantly they provide the exact content in the film within categories such as: Spiritual Content, Violent Content, Crude or Profane Language, Sexual Content, and Drug and Alcohol Content.

It’s so helpful to hop on Plugged In, click on the review for a movie we’re interested in going to see, scrolling down to the “Crude or Profane Language” section, and immediately being able to determine if I should even consider taking my kids to see it.

I’ve copied the following “Crude or Profane Language” sections from the Plugged In website, for films rated G – R, to show how helpful their reviews can be, and to also show what movies might be better watched at home with a  TV Guardian.

Herbie Fully Loaded (G) : Misuses of God’s name are used a handful of times. “Jeez” is said once. Mild putdowns include “jerk.” “Crap” gets tossed around a few times.

The Rookie (G) : While on the field, one player misuses the name of God (it’s the second time God’s name is used as an exclamation). Four mild profanities (one of which is sung in a song) include the words “h–l” and “d–n.”

The Astronaut Farmer (PG) :  Three s-words, a half-dozen uses each of “a–” and “h—,” and two uses of “b–ch” vie for attention. “Jeez” pops up and God’s name is coupled with “d–n.”

Inkheart (PG) : One use each of “d–n” and “jacka–.” Several times, characters misuse God’s name.

Elf (PG) : A dozen mild profanities (“h—,” “d–n”) join such expressions as “friggin,” “pi–ed,” “sucked,” “son of a nutcracker,” “up yours” and “oh my g–.”

E.T. (PG) : Several crude expressions, five profanities (including two s-words) and a half-dozen exclamations of “oh my g–.”

Holes (shown on the Disney Channel) (PG) : Unfortunately, God’s name is abused almost 10 times. About half a dozen mild profanities (”d–n” and “h—”) crop up. Crudities and put-downs such as “schmuck,” “jacka–,” “cow turd,” “fart” and “Neanderthal” turn up, “crap” being the most common.

The Water Horse (PG) : Jesus’ name is abused a couple of times. God’s name is exclaimed six or eight times. There are also a half-dozen exclamations of “bloody,” two of “h—,” and one each of “d–n” and the Scottish version of “a–.” “Crikey,” “blimey,” “what the devil?” “my sainted mother!” “mother of God,” “holy mackerel” and the Scottish interjection “jings” punctuate moments of surprise.

Indiana Jones, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (PG – 13) : Mutt uses the s-word twice. God’s name is exclaimed a half-dozen times. Other swear words, such as “d–n,” “h—,” “b–ch” and “bloody” are sprinkled in between.

The Blindside (PG-13) : Leigh Anne does not approve of swearing. “Don’t use the a-word,” she tells her husband. But she didn’t edit the screenplay for The Blind Side. Onscreen, we still hear “a‑‑” a half-dozen times, “b‑‑ch” and “h‑‑‑” four or five times each, “p‑‑‑” once and “d‑‑n” two or three times. God’s name is misused a handful of times. “T‑t” is said a couple of times. The racial slur “n-gger” is vocalized once by one of the thugs.

Erin Brockovich (R) : Nearly 50 f- and s-words make the film’s otherwise clever dialogue intolerable. Erin’s fondness for the f-word becomes central to her character. Additionally, Jesus’ name is abused and other, milder, profanities intrude, some of them spoken in front of the children.

The Last Samurai (R) : An s-word and a handful of milder profanities. God’s name is abused a half-dozen times (once it is combined with “d–n”); Christ’s one time.

3:10 to Yuma (R) : Two or three f-words; more than twice that many s-words. “D–n” is used in excess of a dozen times—and most often in conjunction with God’s name. Christ’s name is foully exclaimed at least twice. Milder profanities pop up a handful of times (”h—,” “a–”), as do the crude words “p-ss” and “b–tard.”

And remember, the TV Guardian filters out language on cable and network television programming, DVDs, videos, Blue Ray, and On Demand movies. As long as what you’re watching is available in closed caption, it will automatically be filtered, without you needing to have the subtitles on and viewable.

So now for the BIG GIVEAWAY!!!

TV Guardian is giving away one of their brand new TV Guardians with remote, to one of my randomly selected readers. The Winner will have their choice between a standard or HD compatible unit ($120 /$160 value).

All you have to do to enter is:

- leave a comment on this post telling me one of your favorite movies of all time. That’s it! (Comments that do not include a favorite movie will be deleted and disqualified)

- Please only one entry per person

- Open to U.S. residents only

- entries will be accepted NOW through Wednesday, May 19, 2010, at 10pm PST.

- one WINNER will be randomly chosen and announced on Friday, May 21, 2010.

- the WINNER will have a new TV Guardian unit reserved for them and will receive it in June, 2010 when the units are released for shipping.

Enter now, and in the mean time, head on over to TV Guardian.com and get more familiar with all of it’s features and benefits. It you’d like to see a demo of the TV Guardian working in action, click here.

Also, be sure to check out PluggedIn.com… there’s all kinds of fun stuff to discover!

Thanks for visiting and in the famous words of Siskel and Ebert… “We’ll see you at the movi…” er… uh… well, maybe not. Maybe you’ll be in your living rooms more often now. Hey… it’s cheaper. The screen is smaller, but the snacks are better and they wont break the bank. Your living room has really comfortable seating and soft warm blankets. True… you probably don’t have 3-D capabilities or IMAX, but look on the brightside… you probably also wont get MRSA from the seats.

I’m gonna go now.

Just leave a comment.

Bye.

UPDATE: Now through Monday, May 17th, 2010 as a Mother’s Day Special you can purchase a TV Guardian for $20 OFF! What a deal!!! Buy Now HERE.

Also linked to Frugalicious Friday

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