One of THOSE Days
November 4th, 2009
Sometimes it can be a temptation to present ourselves to others as though we have it all together. Online through Facebook or a blog the temptation can be even greater because of our ability to control what we allow others to see and know about us. We can keep a lot of our flaws and struggles a secret if we choose to.
I have no desire through this blog to project myself as having it altogether, having all the answers, or leading an organized charmed life.
The point of this blog will also never be to just complain… that won’t do either of us any good. I really just want to be honest about the good, the bad, the ugly, the blessings, and the struggles. I just want to be REAL!
And to REALLY tell you the truth… today was one of THOSE days.
No singular traumatic event occurred.
One singular traumatic event is usually not what threatens to conquer me. It’s those days when there are a hundred little things that pile up. I tend to keep a running tally in my head throughout the day of what went wrong and destroyed my expectations. I’m trying to remove this feature of my memory… so far I haven’t been able to do so. I’m also trying to make it my joyful expectation that juice will spill, I won’t be able to find my jeans in order to get out of the house on time, and some mechanical object that makes my life run smoothly will break… I’m trying to plan on these things happening so that when they do I won’t get so bent out of shape.
My bummer of a day started last night by staying up too late. That is usually how most of my bummer days begin… with a lack of discipline the night before. Being tired makes me less productive, less kind, much less patient, and much more easily jilted by things like Disney character plates of food flipping and spilling all over the floor and babies who won’t take their naps when they’re supposed to.
Along with being tired today, I’ve done something to my neck… either slept on it REALLY wrong, or spent to much time lately looking down at my laptop. It’s been hurting for the past three days and instead of getting better it seems to be getting worse. I just popped two more Advil about an hour ago so things are fine for the moment.
It’s so hard to be kind, patient, or productive when you don’t feel well, isn’t it? I can’t imagine how mom’s do all that they do when they are dealing with some type of chronic pain or illness, and I know that there are LOTS of mothers out there for whom that is exactly the case.
This kind of comparison of my pathetic little inconveniences matched up against other’s true struggles, is how I keep myself moving forward on days like this when worries and frustrations attempt to place me in a fetal position sucking my thumb in a corner.
As my brain keeps track of everything that is going wrong, my spirit tries to counteract depression from setting in by comparing each of my difficulties with the far more overwhelming difficulties of others throughout the world. Though this kind of comparing keeps me on my feet and working, I’ll be honest… it doesn’t always remove the bummed out attitude drooping from me as I clean chunks of graham cracker up from all over the kitchen floor and acknowledge the five baskets of laundry in the living room that I’m going to have to tackle next.
Sometimes I just get bummed out that life is so full of hard work, a lack of finances, and guilt, guilt, guilt that I’m not doing and being all that I want and think I should be.
Get your beauty rest, wake up sweet and happy, spend time with God… worship, pray, read the bible, make everyone breakfast, work out, shower, blow-dry and style hair, put on makeup, put on a good looking outfit, put away the dishes, clean the kitchen, start some laundry, set a good example for the children, have meaningful conversations with the children, teach the children, read to the children, make lunches, serve lunch, clean up spilled juice, get babies down for naps, put laundry in the dryer, start another load in the washer, clean the bathroom,clean the kitchen floor… again, check email, kids are up, get everyone dressed, give kids snacks, get kids strapped into car seats, return some things to the store, buy some things from another store, put gas in the car, go to the bank, set a good example for the children, have meaningful conversations with the children, teach the children, get back home in time to prepare dinner, stay up on current events and politics by watching the news, fold laundry, go back to preparing dinner, feed the family, feed the baby, bathe the children, read to the children, pray with the children, tuck in the children, spend meaningful, loving, energetic time with the husband, relax, check email, Facebook, blog… force self to go to bed… ignore self…. stay up late watching something on the DVR, go to bed late, try to get some sleep, try to ignore all the guilty nagging thoughts about all that was left undone today, determine to do a better job tomorrow, doze off, wake up tired… Repeat.
I only accomplished some of those things today… It’s so hard to make it all fit into real life.
I won’t give up though! I’ll just keep on tryin’.
Have you read these other posts yet?
Posted in Confessions
I'm a Southern California Mother of three and Wife to a Software Engineer. I've got my hands full like a typical MOM, but the BLESSINGS are worth the CHAOS! I love to LAUGH, I'm committed to being HONEST, I'm trying to IMPROVE, and I hate doing LAUNDRY!!!!!!!!!!
You too?! Well then... Kick off your shoes and make yourself at home!
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Yesterday was one of my many ‘One of those days’ as well. I too stayed up way too late the evening before. My son, due to this awesome (sarcasm) time change, woke up at 5am and would not go back to sleep. When this happens, he ends up being cranky all morning because he is so tired. It begins a battle with him…
As the battle began, I realized what I needed to do…I just stopped. I stopped the list going on in my head of all the things I needed to do…laundry, dishes, etc. I spent time with my son. We threw the football around, read books, and colored. I could tell he was too tired to be a good listener for the time being & that I couldn’t ask too much of him the hour before naptime. So, we spent it together instead of me just putting on a show for him to watch while I caught up on cleaning the floors.
What a difference that made. I loved him crawling up on my lap & listening to the stories I was reading him. I loved the questions he asked about the characters even pointing out letters he is learning.
And the football playing…that is always a blast! He has us put on our pretend helmets, then he even throws a few ‘fake-outs’ to me
. With the ball in his hand, he zig-zags around, as if to be dodging other players, and then throws me an surprisingly very spiral ball for a 3 year old. I catch it, and then he runs to me for me to tackle him. Yes, those times are priceless!
I wish I’d remember more often to ‘just stop’!
Cindi,
What a wise mommy you are. It’s so true. So often we need to just stop… toss our plans and expectations out the window, and react to the new situation with gentleness, patience, creativity, and joy. It’s not always easy to do that, but stories like yours will stick in my head and help to trigger this kind of attitude adjustment when it’s needed. Thanks for your posts. For some reason there is just so much comfort and encouragement in simply knowing… I’m not alone.