…

This week I’m launching the opening of my new Online MommyTopics.com Amazon store.

And in honor of this grand opening I’m giving away a $50 Amazon Gift Card… no purchase necessary.

But first… Did you know that when you make a purchase through my Amazon store or the links on my site, I receive a commission? Ads and this new store help me to turn my blogging hobby into a profitable venture for this Stay-At-Home, Home-Schooling-Mom.

So, if you’re going to purchase books and products online anyway, why not do it through me and make a contribution to my little family? It will cost you the same and it will really help us out.

Now onto the Giveaway…

All you have to do to be eligible to win this Amazon gift card is check out my store and leave a comment on this post about an item you liked or found interesting, or an item you didn’t find, but think should be added.

Simple as that!

One entry per person please. All entries must be in by 10pm pacific time, on March 31, 2010. One winner will be randomly selected and announced on Friday, April 2, 2010 by 10am.

Once confirmation emails have been exchanged between MommyTopics.com and the winner, the $50 Amazon gift card will be delivered immediately through email.

And remember… anytime you make a purchase through the MommyTopics Amazon store, you’ll be sending a commission my way. And if you don’t find anything you’re interested in today, come on back another time as I will be adding exciting new items regularly.

I really appreciate your support!

Click here to start shopping. There is also a tab titled “Store” at the top of this website next to, “Home” “About” and “Contact.”

Happy Shopping, and Happy Commenting!!! I can’t wait to see who wins the $50!

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March 3rd was “National Help A Pregnant Lady Day.” Which now has passed I know… but keep reading!

I learned about here.

There’s even a Facebook Fan Page for it.

So… in honor of such a brilliant day I thought I would try to inspire you with some wonderful things YOU can do for the pregnant lady or ladies in your life.

Although…

Once I got to working on this post I realized that most of these suggestions are just all around great ideas for pampering any lady, anytime.

So husbands, boyfriends, and best friends, take note… The following is a great list of ways to make any woman in your life feel FANTASTIC, any time of the year.

And… several of the items mentioned, can now be purchased right here from the Cosmetics section of the MommyTopics.com store… check it out.

Taking a daily shower when you are a MOM or a pregnant woman is about far more than personal hygene.

It’s warmth.

It’s muscle relief.

It’s a light massage.

It’s calm.

It’s quiet.

It’s solitude.

If there were chairs in showers, pregnant women might not ever come out.

This Ginger soap by Origins just makes mornings better.

The citrus smell wakes you up and makes you feel like living. The scent also stays on your skin after you wash and continues to invigorate the senses throughout the morning and remind you… the shower will still be there to return to tonight. (Available online at Origins.com and at Macy’s)

And, after an evening shower at the end of a looooong day, this fantastic Mentha Body Wash by C.O. Bigelow can make leaving the shower almost as enjoyable as being in one. This body wash contains a bit of Peppermint oil, so after you’ve lathered it on, washed it off, and have stepped out into the cool air, your skin tingles all over. And after you’ve dried off, dressed, and settled down with a good book or to watch TV, it’s still tingling. It’s amazing! (Available at Bath and Body Works)

Also at Bath and Body Works you can find these fantastic sweet tasting Mentha Lip Shines by C.O. Bigelow. They come in several different tinted shades as well as clear.

The last friend I recommended this to said she put it on for the first time when she got in her car right after buying it and… it changed her life.

I swear.

That’s what she said.

“It changed my life.”

Speaking of changed lives…

This little item changed mine.

Most the time I have a nice long debate in my head while putting on my makeup if I should even bother putting on any lipstick because after all, my lips will be bare again within the first half hour of wearing any.

Not with these babies!

These are the Pro Longwear Lustre Lip Colors by MAC. It’s a two step application with a brush on color you let dry, and then a shiny gloss to apply on top. The gloss does wear away like any gloss does, but the color hangs on all day and into the evening. I’m always startled by my reflection in the mirror come mid afternoon when I have this on. Hours and hours after having put my makeup on, my lips are still colored. What a novel idea!

I will say that the magic of this lip color staying on your lips does have one draw back and that is how dry it makes your lips feel. Really, really, dry. But, it’s so worth it.

And as long as you keep a gloss in your pocket like one of the Mentha ones I mentioned earlier or this pocket size MAC Longwear Gloss Coat, to reapply here and there when you feel the need… you’re golden.

There’s also this lip primer by MAC that helps condition your lips and make them feel fantastic under any lipstick. (MAC products are available online at maccosmetics.com as well as at Macy’s and Nordstrom)

Once again… something that has changed my life.

This little pot holds within it the answer to tired, baggy, puffy, circles under the eyes. Pregnant women have this little issue called insomnia which contributes to the under-eye problem but the Eye Doctor by Origins will fix it instantly.

You know those magazine ads and commercials that show you a face with a line down the middle dividing the side that looks incredible because it supposedly has had a miraculous cosmetic applied to it and the other side that is all droopy and blotchy because it doesn’t have the miracle creme on it. When are advertisers going realize we all know how Photoshop works and they just aren’t fooling anyone?

Anyway, you can play that divided face game in the mirror if you have this creme. Once you’ve applied the creme under your eye on one side, you can immediately see a huge difference between it and the eye you haven’t applied it to yet. It’s fantastic. (Available at Macy’s or Origins.com)

And while we’re talking about eyes, let us not neglect the brows.

I’m obsessed with eyebrows. I love them. Especially really well shaped ones.

This is the Brow Tech by Smashbox. One half is filled with a tinted brow powder to brush on the brows and highlight them. The other half of the pot is filled with a colorless pomade WAX that you brush on the brows to hold them in place. AWESOME. No more clear mascara on your eyebrows.

The Brow Tech comes in 6 different colors to match your hair and brow color perfectly.

You’ll also want to get her this Angled Brow Brush by Smashbox. It’s stiff bristles and slanted angle make it the perfect tool for applying both the powder and pomade to create the perfect brow. (Both Smashbox items can be found at Macy’s and Sephora or online at smashbox.com)

A gift certificate for an eyebrow waxing at a Day Spa would be a great gift too.

In fact…

While we’re on the subject of Day Spas…

A pedicure is always a welcomed gift by most any woman, but a pregnant woman in particular.

Once that pregnant belly pops out there, painting ones toenails becomes an impossibility.

And while full body massages are a “No – no” for pregnant women unless they are specifically a “Pregnancy Massage”, a nice facial or a good long scalp massage are a welcomed treat.

Now I realize… you may adore the pregnant woman in your life, but you might not have the money to pamper her with gifts and trips to the spa.

No problem.

You can make a pregnant woman’s day, with any of the following thoughtful gestures…

- Arrange a time to come over to fold clothes and put away the laundry and dishes. If she has kids, offer to watch them too while she goes and takes a shower, a nap, or simply watches a movie or reads a book in her bedroom.

- Pick up her kids and watch them for the day or a couple hours so she can have the house to herself.

- Come over and watch her kids so she can go out to the spa or the mall without busy little ones tagging along.

- Drop off a Newly Released rented Chick Flick and her favorite candy and pick up the movie the next day to return it.

- Drop off some yummy baked goods, like cupcakes, or cookies, or the Pioneer Woman’s Cinnamon Rolls, some hand picked flowers, and a nice card or note, telling her what a great friend or wife she is. You could also include a nice copy of this poem.

Now…

If you do have some money to spend you can always mix and match the gifts above with the thoughtful gestures, but if you really have some money… I mean really, really have some money to spend on a dearly beloved pregnant woman, you can get her everything mentioned above… or…

Send her and her hubby or her best friend away for the weekend for some much needed relaxation-before-the-storm, to a beautiful Inn like this.

To stay in a beautiful room like this.

With a breathtaking view like this.

And Spa Treatments that sound like this…

Pumpkin Enzyme Facial

Get your glow back with this 55 minute facial, ideal for dry or dull skin. This extra strength enzyme treatment is a great choice if you need to restore glow to tired skin. The advanced exfoliation is followed by a custom mask, toner and moisturizer. Your skin will look and feel revitalized. This treatment ends with our signature Peppermint Scalp, Neck and Shoulder massage.

Now that would seriously be Helping Out a Pregnant Lady!

And pregnant ladies… you’re welcome. Make sure to send a link to this post to EVERYONE YOU KNOW! Post it on your Facebook page, your blog, and all your emails. QUICK! …THERE’S NO TIME TO WASTE.

And tell your best friend to send it to everyone you know also. Tell her it’s how she can fulfill her duty to you for “National Help a Pregnant Lady Day,” and she doesn’t have to do anything else. Just as long as she makes sure everyone in your life has this post!!!

Here’s one last idea…

You could find a fantastic Photographer like this and purchase a portrait package for the Mommy-to-be. Many packages include pictures of the pregnancy as well as the baby once he or she is born.

What an extraordinary gift that would be!

Nikki, from Bumps and Giggles Photography is offering a promotion for the month of March to readers of MommyTopics.com. When you reserve your photography appointment and pay for the portrait package of your choice in full, mention MommyTopics.com and she will wave the sitting fee ($150). She serves the areas of San Diego County, Riverside County, and Orange County in Southern California.

That’s a great deal! Visit her website and check out the many portrait packages available.

If you have a great gift idea or thoughtful gesture for a Pregnant Mom please share it with all of us by placing it in the comments section of this post.

And if you are a pregnant lady who receives some extra special lovin’ on March 3rd because word got out that it’s “National Help a Pregnant Lady Day” leave that in the comments too. We’d love to hear your story.

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The group officially met on Sunday evenings for actual bible study, but a lot of us had grown extremely close and hung out together several nights a week. Many from the group had become my circle of friends while remaining in my hometown, and attending community college, after High School.

It was summertime and the Sunday night crowd was always different, with regulars out of town for vacation and mission trips, and others who attended college out of state popping in because they were back home for the summer. Feeling some ownership in the group, when new faces appeared I tried to greet them, make them feel welcomed, and help get them plugged in by sitting with them or introducing them to others.

I was bopping around socializing with everyone before worship started when I saw him walk in.

I was paralyzed.

I was like stone, except for the butterflies in my stomach and the fire rising up my face. My mind just kept repeating, It’s him. It’s him. It’s… “the boy next door.”

I had had a crush on him from a distance since I had been eleven years old. I’d never spoken to him, never introduced myself, never had a reason too… until now.

This was my chance.

After all, it was kind of like my job to welcome people… so why not him? It wouldn’t seem out of place. It would make complete sense for me to finally walk up to him and say,

Hi, I’m Rachael. I’ve seen you around town my whole life and I’ve never spoken to you and I’m so glad you’re here and I think you are soooooo HOT, and… and… here he comes…. Oh Rachael get is straight… you can’t say all that… be cool, just be cool… umm… um…

“Hi Boy Next Door.” (I didn’t actually say “boy next door” I said his actual name.)

Oh my gosh. Did I really just say that? Did I really just say his name out loud? Now he’s going to wonder how I knew his name. Oh I blew it, I blew it. Now he knows I’ve been staring at him, stalking him since my childhood.  He can see into my soul, he knows everything, I’m…

“Hi Rachael.”

Whoa.

I froze.

The butterflies froze, and I swear they dropped their jaws and just stared at him.

He just said my name.

I didn’t tell him my name.

To be continued…

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It’s been hard to sleep at night lately and I’ve been watching a lot of late night Olympics.

I’ve been so inspired this time by the stories of these incredible athletes. What has struck me now more than ever is the idea that these individuals devote so much time, discipline, effort, and unshakeable commitment to their chosen sport. They give up so many indulgences in order to devote their lives to training and to ultimately achieving their dreams. So many of these incredible athletes have had terrifying falls and injuries and yet each of them, no matter how severe the pain or set back, has gotten right up once healed and pursued their sport with even more determination.

I’m humbled and really, if I’m completely honest, put to shame, by the fact that I don’t devote that much effort toward anything in my lazy, cushy life… but I’d like to start.

I’d really like to become an athlete at homemaking.

That might sound totally absurd and some of you might be making a gagging motion as you prepare to ditch the rest of this post for something more suited to your feminist ideals. If that’s you… go ahead… it’s not going to get any less “1950’s housewife” from here.

I’d like my life to count for something, and there’s nothing I’d like to be better at than taking care of my family.

I think I’ve given into a pervasive tone amongst women in this decade that says, “I’m stretched far too thin between cooking, cleaning, kids, spouse, friends, and ‘ME time’ to be exceptional at any of it. Rather than give anything up or rearrange my priorities so I can excel at the things that really matter, I’ll just continue on in mediocre homemaking… after all… everybody’s doing it.”

Gathering together as women for coffee and on blogs, and being able to admit our shortcomings and laugh at our mistakes is important to our sanity as wives, cooks, maids, and mothers. But, creating satire around apathy and a lifestyle of comfortable carelessness in the ways we treat our children, husband, and home, is detrimental to our families and our society.

I’d like to stop whining about laundry and start tackling it. I’d like to become committed to figuring out a system by which I can make laundry in this house flow so that it blesses my family and not give up until I can medal in it.

I’d like to stop waiting for my dream house and start taking care of every little bit I’ve already been entrusted with, with discipline, devotion, and honor.

I’d like to truly be a daily help and blessing to my husband rather than simply coexisting with him.

I want to invest in and greatly affect my children’s hearts and character in a positive and spiritual way rather than just oversee each one’s basic well being.

I’d like to become an athletic champion at being a wife and mother and whenever I get knocked down or discouraged, I’d like to quit allowing it to paralyze me and get back on top of that mountain and train even harder to become truly great at what I’ve devoted my life to.

One day I’d like to step up on a medals podium and while looking into the lives of my husband and children, see true joy and tremendous success that I’ve contributed to, and with tears in my eyes be able to say, “This is what I’ve been working so hard for. Since I was 21 years old and said ‘I do’, this is what I have given every moment of sweat, effort, and tears for. I can’t believe this day is finally here. It’s a dream come true.”

²⁵Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
²⁶She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
²⁹“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”

Proverbs 31:25 – 29 NASB

Now that sounds like a Gold Medal worthy Homemaker!

For anyone else who is interested in taking their Homemaking skills to a new level of excellence, here is the link to an online mentoring program that I’m going to be a part of starting March 1, 2010. Join me!

Homemaker’s Mentorship with Victoria Botkin

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I’m ready to tell you why.

This last Saturday, the day before Valentines Day, I had a miscarriage.

The blog slowed way down in January because I was dealing with the first trimester of my pregnancy and a whole lot of morning sickness all day long. Food was not my friend thus the lack of recipes and creative cooking posts. As with most pregnancies during the first trimester I was exhausted all the time, nauseous, and just plain old didn’t feel able to keep up with the posting pace I had set in the previous months.

And then things came to a screeching halt last week as I began to experience some complications in my pregnancy which resulted in the horrifying experience of a miscarriage this past weekend. An experience which no one prepared me for, including the Emergency Room doctor I saw Friday night who I begged for details so I would know what to expect.

I expected the emotional difficulty and not much can prepare you or lessen the sorrow of the loss of a baby, but I had no idea how physically horrifying a miscarriage can be and it wouldn’t have been quite so scary if I had just been more prepared by someone explaining to me the details of what was going to happen next.

For this reason I am planning to eventually share some details on this blog about my miscarriage experience and offer some information that may help others who have to go through the same difficulty.

Because miscarriage experiences can vary from one woman to the next, I am asking those of you – my readers – whom have experienced a miscarriage and would like to use your experience to help other women, to write and submit your story for posting in a new section I will create on the subject.

My intention is not to share a bunch of morbid stories to scare pregnant women, but rather on MommyTopics to have an archive of personal stories containing important information as well as comfort and encouragement that women know is there if and when they need it.

I am asking that you write about your physical experience, the emotional experience, and the stories of reflection, growth and new hope that followed. All the stories will be posted as “written by an anonymous contributor” unless the author requests their name be given.

If you have a story to share please email it to me, or contact me if you need more info at rachymommy@mommytopics.com

For now, there will be more silence on this blog as I’m just trying to take it easy and recover.

My husband and family have been a treasure through all of this. They’ve been working to make me as comfortable as possible, preparing places for me to rest and recover, cleaning up everything, bringing me my food and fluids, taking my blood pressure, and all this while also taking care of my three children and keeping them oblivious to what’s been going on. My husband has been by my side through every horrifying moment and has been loving me, holding me, and crying with me as we both deal with the pain of this tremendous loss.

I’m sleeping a lot, watching movies, a little bit of Olympics here and there, drinking lots of fluids, eating peanut M&Ms (my favorite), taking it easy, and using the moments where I feel good to hug my kids, look into their eyes and marvel at the miracle that each of them is, and appreciate every little thing about them and every moment I have with them.

Life truly is such a precious gift and one that should never for a second be taken for granted because we never know how many more moments we will have together… or wont.

Thank you for your prayers and love.

God is good, our faith is strong, and Lord willing there will be better days ahead.

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When I think of Valentine’s Day treats I immediately think of Conversation Hearts candies.

I love those little things.

I can remember as an eight year old girl sitting in my bedroom the night before Valentine’s Day, putting together my homemade Valentines to hand out at school the next day. I took great care to select each candy heart that would go inside the valentines making sure the right messages went to the right people.

To this day whenever February rolls around I can’t help but grab a box or two of the candy hearts while checking out at the grocery store.

So… naturally these little candy hearts were the obvious inspiration for my Valentine’s Day cupcake design.

I even got inspired to use my favorite Valentine Candies as an inspiration to make some tasty Brownie Pops you can see here.

I started with a basic boxed brownie mix and spread it out about 1/3 inch thick on wax paper, laid on a cookie sheet.

There wasn’t enough mix to fill the whole cookie sheet, but the batter was so gooey that I was able to spread it with a spoon to the desired thickness and it stayed in place.

I baked it at 350 degrees for 12 minutes until a toothpick came out clean.

After the brownie sheet was baked and cooled I placed the whole tray in the fridge for an hour to allow the brownie to firm up.

Next I used a small heart shaped cookie cutter to make my hearts.

I dipped the cookie cutter in powdered sugar to keep the brownies from sticking to it.

Again, after all the brownies were cut, I placed them back into the fridge to firm up again.

These melting candies can be found at most craft stores or baking supply stores. They come in all kinds of fantastic colors.

After microwaving the candies in a coffee cup for about a minute and stirring it until smooth, I placed a brownie on a fork over the cup, and began using a spoon to scoop the melted candy over it until it was covered.

Once the brownie was covered the melted candy was so thick that the heart had lost much of it’s shape.

I gently shook the brownie on the fork over the cup allowing excess coating to drizzle away from the heart and cause it to regain it’s shape.

Next I placed the candy heart onto wax paper and allowed it to dry while dipping more hearts.

I then repeated the coating process a second time on each heart in order to completely and smoothly cover each brownie.

After the two coats of melted candy have dried some of the hearts may still be miss-shaped. Simply use a sharp knife to carefully cut away excess candy around the edges.

Any rough edges that remain can easily be smoothed out with the warmth of your finger by gently rubbing them away.

Now it’s time to add all those fun messages.

Markers with edible ink can be found in the bakers aisle of your grocery store or craft store.

I prefer the look of the marker over piped candy or frosting because the effect of the marker better mimics the look of the stamped Conversation Hearts Candies.

These candy covered brownie hearts make a great little treat all by themselves, but they make an even better treat on top of some delicious cupcakes.

I chose Strawberry cupcakes to compliment the chocolate brownies and used food coloring to make pastel frostings that would match the candy colors.

If you want to play along…

Here’s what you need…

Brownie Mix and its required ingredients

Wax Paper

Strawberry Cake Mix

Cupcake Papers

White Frosting

Pastel Food Coloring

Pastel Melting Candies

Red Edible Ink Marker

Enjoy!

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I started out making Valentine Cupcakes.

I made these candy covered brownie hearts to go on top, and then it dawned on me what cute Brownie pops they would make.

If you’d like to make some yourself, just follow along below.

It’s pretty simple.

I used regular ol’ boxed brownie mix and poured my batter onto wax paper laid out on a cookie sheet.

There isn’t enough batter in one box to cover an entire cookie sheet… unless it’s a small one.

But, because the brownie mix is so gooey, it didn’t run. I was able to spread it out with a spoon so that the entire thing was about 1/3 inch thick, and it stayed in place.

I cooked it at 350 degrees for about 12 minutes.

After the brownie sheet was baked and cool, I placed it in the fridge for an hour to harden.

After the brownies were good and cold I used a small heart shaped cookie cutter to cut out the hearts.

I dipped the cookie cutter into powder sugar in order to keep the brownies from sticking to it.

For each pop I used two brownie hearts.

I spread some whipped chocolate frosting on one side of each heart.

Then I used a lollipop stick and pressed it firmly into the frosting on one of the hearts.

Next I took the second heart and placed it on top pressing both hearts firmly together around the stick.

Next, use the spreading knife to smooth out any frosting that has squished out between the cracks.  If there are any gaps between the two brownies, add more frosting to fill them in and then smooth it out.

You’re half way there.

It’s really important at this point to place your brownie pops back into the fridge to let them firm so that they don’t come apart when you are dipping them in the candy coating.

You can use melted white chocolate and add your own food coloring, or these colored candy melts that can be found at most craft and baking stores.

Fill a coffee cup 2/3 of the way with the candy melts and microwave for 1 minute and 30 seconds.

Remove the cup from the microwave and stir the candy with a spoon until it is smooth. Allow the melted candy to cool for at least 5 minutes before beginning to dip your brownies otherwise the warmth will pull your brownie off the stick.

Next, dip your pop half way into the cooled melted candy.

If you dip the pop all the way down into into it, the weight of it may pull the brownie off the stick. It’s better to use a spoon to help cover the base of your brownie.

Hold your pop over the cup and allow some of the excess candy to drip off.

Turn the pop a few times to allow each side to run smooth.

Set your pop upright in a glass and allow it to dry.

The pops will do best if they are quickly placed back in the fridge to firm up.

Even at room temperature, the brownies and frosting inside can soften and cause your pop to slip down your stick.

Once the brownie pops have cooled completely, choose the smoothest side on which to write your message.

You can find a pen with edible ink in the baker’s aisle at your grocery store or craft store.

Viola!

You can add some decorative ribbon to really make them special.

Here’s what you need…

Brownie Mix and Brownie Ingredients

Small Heart Shaped Cookie or Fondant Cutter

Powdered Sugar

Wax paper

Chocolate Frosting

Lollipop Sticks

Marker with Edible Ink

Decorative Ribbon

Happy Brownie Pop making!!!

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I washed away my past and my pain in the Jordan River where Christ himself had been baptized and I felt an assured sense that God’s plans for my future were fantastic ones.  That trip was a perfect honeymoon with my Lord after a year of renewed courtship with Him. It was a year in my single life that I will cherish forever where I had the opportunity to set everything else aside and soak God in. He lavished me with His Words and His love in a way that fed my soul and repaired my heart.

When I returned back to California after my time in Israel and arrived back to my little hometown and pulled into the church parking lot we had previously departed from, everyone on the bus started to buzz. There were giggles and a whole lot of pointing out the windows and then, it seemed everyone was staring back at me with giant smiles on their faces. I stood up and tried to see what everyone was acting so goofy about.

Standing there, holding a big sign with my name on it… you know… the kind of sign you see in the movies when someone at an airport or train station is waiting to pick someone up? Standing there, with that sign, bearing my name,was a young man who had missed me while I’d been gone.

Thinking about how he looked that day, standing there smiling, in his Tommy Hilfiger shirt, dark jeans, sunglasses on looking so cool, so tall, so strong, so handsome, and waiting for ME… eagerly. The memory of him that day, how he looked, how he made me feel… it still sends butterflies swirling in my stomach just as much now as it did in that moment.

Waiting for me there, to give me a ride home, was the “boy next door.”

To be continued…

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• My Story – Chapter 7 – True Heartbreak
  In High School I had a few different boyfriends. One of the relationships was short, one was even shorter, and one was quite long… in high school terms anyway. Dating and breaking up were no longer si...

My father has always been an unbelieving agnostic who becomes visibly uncomfortable at the very mention of God. My mother is a quiet Christian who took me to church as a very small child on an irregular basis, but couldn’t keep up with it while juggling everything else. There was never any prayer or Bible reading or the teaching of Bible stories in my home.

My mother always kept me in private schools growing up. She had a very difficult childhood and learned to take care of herself and her younger brother while still in her early teens. She put both herself and her brother through college and they each became successful, self sufficient, hard working adults. Education was of the utmost importance to my mom and teaching us to be self reliant from the beginning was her goal.

When I was in the 5^th grade we moved to an area where the only private grade school boasting a college-preparatory curriculum was a Christian one. That was fine with my mom, and she enrolled me. Immediately there was a very obvious difference between myself and my Christian peers.  While out on the playground other kids in my class would fiercely correct me when I took the Lord’s name in vain. They all knew songs and stories I had never heard and they’d never been allowed to see many of the movies I talked about.

I quietly tried to fit in with my Christian classmates, trying not to let them know I was any different than they were. I had a lot to learn about God and Jesus, prayer, and the Bible, but little by little I was gathering information and developing an understanding, as I observed the Christian teachers and students around me.

The summer before 8^th grade Jesus got a hold of my heart for the very first time. After a couple years of being surrounded by Christians in school I’d grown quite fond of the faith I saw in many of my friends. I went to church camp that summer and committed to becoming a Christian myself.

Over the next few years things were quite rocky at home between my parents, but I had some amazing families at my school and church who took me under their wings and trained me up in what it was to be a Christian, how to study my Bible, how to pray, and how to know God personally. I went on a few Mission trips, attended church on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, went to Church camp each summer, and tried my best to live my life like a Christian should. It wasn’t always easy though, and I didn’t always succeed.

When it came to dating I had more freedom than I knew how to handle at that age and boys often became far more of a focus than God.

Now broken hearted at nineteen God was reeling me in. He began to teach me how to keep my focus on Him at all times, through all things, instead of compartmentalizing His reign in my life to Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.

I began to meditate on the Bible constantly. At that difficult time in my life, reading God’s word was no longer a chore I tried to remember to do so I could check it off my list. Instead, reading the Bible became something I craved. I began to see God’s words in a whole new way and the Bible became like a beautiful love letter written from God to me.

I spent warm days out on a blanket in the grass enjoying His creation and memorizing scripture.  I spent quiet evenings on my bedroom floor in candlelight, discovering new promises in the Psalms and talking to Him, feeling His love and Spirit surround me and work to heal and renew me.

I found a group of girls through my community college Bible study who were interested in setting dating aside for a while to focus on the Lord. We became a regular group, meeting once a week at my house for Bible Study and we each made a six month commitment to not dating.

We poured ourselves into books like

“I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris,

“Lady in Waiting,” by Jackie Kendall,

“Passion and Purity” by Elisabeth Eliott, and

“Finding Your Knight in Shining Armor” by P.B. Wilson.

Boy could I tell some stories about those six months!

You will never see guys coming out of the woodwork trying to date you and your friends like you will when they all get wind that there’s a group of Christian girls who have adamantly, unwaveringly sworn off dating. It makes sense now, but in the moment we had no idea what a sport we had created amongst the sex that just can’t resist a challenge.

I don’t think a single one of us made it through that six months without some major relationship entanglements with guys, but a few of us, at least two of us, credit that time with having dramatically shaped us for our husbands and for our futures as women who will forever pursue a deep and meaningful relationship with God.

For those of us who had always needed to be in a relationship, needed a guy at our side, or who had our worlds revolving entirely around belonging to a guy, this time in our lives taught us that we didn’t “need” a man. We didn’t “need” anyone but the Lord. And once we got that figured out, once we understood who we were as individuals, and the purposes God had for us, we were free to enjoy much healthier, balanced relationships with the opposite sex.

Having a guy in our lives could begin to be a true added blessing instead of a dependency. We were able to choose a boyfriend, and let go of a boyfriend, using discernment and discretion instead of blindly staying in bad relationships because we didn’t know who we were without them.

To be continued…

Related Posts

• My Story – Chapter 10 – The Introduction
  The summer before I took my trip to Israel, the summer of 1999, I was involved in a community college bible study. I was part of an initial team who had started the group, and I was part of the leader...
• My Story – Chapter 9 – To Israel and Back
  Eleven months after I had ended my six month commitment to “Not Dating”, in March of 2000, a lifelong dream of mine was fulfilled and I got to spend two weeks in Israel, walking where Jesus walked and...
• My Story – Chapter 7 – True Heartbreak
  In High School I had a few different boyfriends. One of the relationships was short, one was even shorter, and one was quite long… in high school terms anyway. Dating and breaking up were no longer si...

Somewhere along the way I had picked up the idea that you should never date a guy you couldn’t see yourself marrying… so I didn’t. I took every relationship very seriously and never even set foot into one without first agreeing with myself that this was someone who had everything I needed in a husband.

I think that is good advice to give to a nineteen year old and above for whom marriage in the very near future can be a possibility if that is their desire. But, to tell a thirteen year old that she ought not date a guy unless she is first sure she could see herself one day marrying him, puts a young girl’s mind and heart in a very serious, very dependent, very devoted, place that it has no business being for several years. And when that kind of relationship ends… a relationship that is far too emotionally committed for high school, well… in my case… it devastated me to my core.

By the time I turned nineteen I had had my heart broken to a degree that it remained so for the better part of a year. I didn’t have any plans for my future other than becoming a wife and mother. When those plans disintegrated because of the breakup, I felt completely lost. And that is a terrible state to be in!

To not know who you are at nineteen or where you’re going because all you’d ever seen yourself as was belonging to a guy, is not a healthy place to be. But, that’s where I was. I had no college plans, no career plans, no direction for what to do now with the rest of my life.

My world was turned upside down.

In one moment I became completely devastated and completely lost. I was in a cloud of numb confusion except for when I was in excruciating, devastated, heart ache. I had some really great friends who spent the first night after the breakup with me through all my sobbing, and sleeping from exhaustion, and waking up only to start sobbing again. They got me out of the house and bless their hearts… jumped into a lake with me fully clothed, and swam around for a while, just to let off steam and have some laughs.

But most days after that were filled with hours upon hours of me just being alone.

Finding another guy was not an option at all. I wanted nothing to do with dating.  I was too scared.  How could I ever get close to a guy again?  How could I give my heart to someone and believe we would be headed toward marriage only to have it handed back to me in pieces?

I couldn’t even escape my loneliness when I went to work. I was a hostess in an off the strip resort restaurant.  When the hotel was busy with guests, so were we.  But on many days during the week we had no guests at all in the hotel, and not a single person would come into the restaurant.  As a hostess, that meant long hours of me standing by myself, behind a podium at the front door, in total quiet, alone with my thoughts, my broken heart, and a whole lot of questions.

All I could think about was him and what went wrong.

I couldn’t see any solution for my broken heart, or any hope for my future, beyond his saying he made a huge mistake and needed me back forever. That would heal the pain. That would show me my future again. That was the only possibility I could ever come up with to fix my life. But when he broke up with me, he made it VERY clear, that was NEVER going to happen.

I was drowning in memories of us that were sinking me lower and lower into misery.  I had to find a way out.  I needed a lifeline to lift me from this deep loss and set me on a path toward a new future.

With nothing else to do, nowhere else to turn, and a heartache that no one and nothing else had been able to heal, I took my broken mangled heart to God and begged for His help. I couldn’t see any hope. It was a tiny speck of faith that allowed me to lay all of this before the Lord and believe He could make it right, but that was it… that was all I had. Just a speck. Just enough to get my broken self to His feet.

I had no idea that the itty bitty ounce of faith I placed in Jesus at that time, would lead me into what would become one of the most dear and treasured seasons in my entire life.

To be continued…

Related Posts

• My Story – Chapter 10 – The Introduction
  The summer before I took my trip to Israel, the summer of 1999, I was involved in a community college bible study. I was part of an initial team who had started the group, and I was part of the leader...
• My Story – Chapter 9 – To Israel and Back
  Eleven months after I had ended my six month commitment to “Not Dating”, in March of 2000, a lifelong dream of mine was fulfilled and I got to spend two weeks in Israel, walking where Jesus walked and...
• My Story – Chapter 8 – I Kissed Dating Goodbye!
  As a very young child I grew up believing in God as the Creator of this world, but beyond that I didn’t know, or think much about Him. My father has always been an unbelieving agnostic who becomes ...