As a very young child I grew up believing in God as the Creator of this world, but beyond that I didn’t know, or think much about Him.

My father has always been an unbelieving agnostic who becomes visibly uncomfortable at the very mention of God. My mother is a quiet Christian who took me to church as a very small child on an irregular basis, but couldn’t keep up with it while juggling everything else. There was never any prayer or Bible reading or the teaching of Bible stories in my home.

My mother always kept me in private schools growing up. She had a very difficult childhood and learned to take care of herself and her younger brother while still in her early teens. She put both herself and her brother through college and they each became successful, self sufficient, hard working adults. Education was of the utmost importance to my mom and teaching us to be self reliant from the beginning was her goal.

When I was in the 5^th grade we moved to an area where the only private grade school boasting a college-preparatory curriculum was a Christian one. That was fine with my mom, and she enrolled me. Immediately there was a very obvious difference between myself and my Christian peers.  While out on the playground other kids in my class would fiercely correct me when I took the Lord’s name in vain. They all knew songs and stories I had never heard and they’d never been allowed to see many of the movies I talked about.

I quietly tried to fit in with my Christian classmates, trying not to let them know I was any different than they were. I had a lot to learn about God and Jesus, prayer, and the Bible, but little by little I was gathering information and developing an understanding, as I observed the Christian teachers and students around me.

The summer before 8^th grade Jesus got a hold of my heart for the very first time. After a couple years of being surrounded by Christians in school I’d grown quite fond of the faith I saw in many of my friends. I went to church camp that summer and committed to becoming a Christian myself.

Over the next few years things were quite rocky at home between my parents, but I had some amazing families at my school and church who took me under their wings and trained me up in what it was to be a Christian, how to study my Bible, how to pray, and how to know God personally. I went on a few Mission trips, attended church on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, went to Church camp each summer, and tried my best to live my life like a Christian should. It wasn’t always easy though, and I didn’t always succeed.

When it came to dating I had more freedom than I knew how to handle at that age and boys often became far more of a focus than God.

Now broken hearted at nineteen God was reeling me in. He began to teach me how to keep my focus on Him at all times, through all things, instead of compartmentalizing His reign in my life to Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights.

I began to meditate on the Bible constantly. At that difficult time in my life, reading God’s word was no longer a chore I tried to remember to do so I could check it off my list. Instead, reading the Bible became something I craved. I began to see God’s words in a whole new way and the Bible became like a beautiful love letter written from God to me.

I spent warm days out on a blanket in the grass enjoying His creation and memorizing scripture.  I spent quiet evenings on my bedroom floor in candlelight, discovering new promises in the Psalms and talking to Him, feeling His love and Spirit surround me and work to heal and renew me.

I found a group of girls through my community college Bible study who were interested in setting dating aside for a while to focus on the Lord. We became a regular group, meeting once a week at my house for Bible Study and we each made a six month commitment to not dating.

We poured ourselves into books like

“I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris,

“Lady in Waiting,” by Jackie Kendall,

“Passion and Purity” by Elisabeth Eliott, and

“Finding Your Knight in Shining Armor” by P.B. Wilson.

Boy could I tell some stories about those six months!

You will never see guys coming out of the woodwork trying to date you and your friends like you will when they all get wind that there’s a group of Christian girls who have adamantly, unwaveringly sworn off dating. It makes sense now, but in the moment we had no idea what a sport we had created amongst the sex that just can’t resist a challenge.

I don’t think a single one of us made it through that six months without some major relationship entanglements with guys, but a few of us, at least two of us, credit that time with having dramatically shaped us for our husbands and for our futures as women who will forever pursue a deep and meaningful relationship with God.

For those of us who had always needed to be in a relationship, needed a guy at our side, or who had our worlds revolving entirely around belonging to a guy, this time in our lives taught us that we didn’t “need” a man. We didn’t “need” anyone but the Lord. And once we got that figured out, once we understood who we were as individuals, and the purposes God had for us, we were free to enjoy much healthier, balanced relationships with the opposite sex.

Having a guy in our lives could begin to be a true added blessing instead of a dependency. We were able to choose a boyfriend, and let go of a boyfriend, using discernment and discretion instead of blindly staying in bad relationships because we didn’t know who we were without them.

To be continued…

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